AMERICA Possibly the best place full of shite on Dylan Karlsson's earth.
"We loike ev'rything thät's rwong with this cuntry"
- Hei! If you don't like it, u cän go to Russia [or Brighton Beach]
AMERICANS You can never underestimate enough the stupidity of an average Yankee, which must be the dumbest creature God,dog or someone from the Beetles ever created. No wonder the happiest people of the world are supposedly living in the jungles of Papua-New Guinea & speak languages unknown to every one else.
BRITAIN Running for the home of the worst musick on the planet along with Finland and Jerkmany (fooken nazis) respectively. And these people even support the goddamn monarchy! I mean, Doesn't everybody hate Fill Collins, Chorts Michael, all these silly boybands and singers with a squeaky, mousy voice - let alone all that indie rubbish!
BRIT-POP Muzak with no balls by girl-like nerds, who wear their big sister's clothes (hi Elvis!) & possible play with paper dolls & themselves as well. Each and every band's name got something to do with lemonade, lollipops, flowers or something silly and everyone's influenced by the fookin Peatles, so what can you expect? Being on an indie label guarantees, that the band is a load of bollocks & that seems to be the case in every country, Finland especially. All the significant rock classics have been released on a major label - with the possible exeption of "SPERMARKET" - don't ask me why!
BRIT-POPPERS When both Brit-pop girls & boys have short hair & the girls have small tits or no tits at all & the lads don't seem to have a dick ('cept on their mind, perhaps), you get kinda confused... and who likes confusion? We wouldn't even know it, if we saw it...
COUNTRY ÄND WESTERN The best two things from Amerikay. The inspiration behind the inspiration of this bänd. There's no way you could over-estimate the meaning of the likes of HANK WILLIAMS, JIMMIE RODGERS, CARTER FAMILY, JERRY LEE LEWIS, WILLIE & WAYLON, KRIS, DAVID ALLAN COE, D.L. MENARD, GRAM PARSONS, GARY STEWART, LEE CLAYTON, KINKY FRIEDMAN & HIS TEXAS JEWBOYS, BUBBLES & THE SHIT ROCKERS, UNCLE TUPELO and a whole lot of other -unknown or forgotten- good people, who come with the dust and are gone with the wind.
COVER VERSIONS "I'd rather take shit for the shit I've done myself with my very own little hands (and no one even helped!) than for the shite someone else has done" could be our motto, even if we just threw a surprise gig, doing only Shitter Limited and Hoist covers (see the set list in "His story" section)
CRAPPY T.V. SERIES FROM AMERICA There should be a law against all this shit fucking people's minds up all over the world from Tamperkele to Timbuktu - but of course it's impossible as long as this world is ruled by imperialism. No other country rapes people mentally with so-called enterteinment as effectively as America. When you see what kind of crab the majority of people watch everywhere they've got TV's, you realise, thet most people on this planet are just the same kind of fukking assholes, after all. Internet goes to show you the same. No future.
D.I.Y. The idea is bootiful, tho we've never really done anything ourselves. We've ålways ripped off other people or someone else has done everything for us.
DRUGS Drugs are bääd. Kids, don't do drugs, okay?
EXPERIMENTAL We hate it when someone 'experiments' and tries so hard to be something weird & different. Thought we had enough of pomposity in the 70's with all that progressive rawk shite (that Single KO Naukkarinen & Naujokaitis in NYC still listens to), but like the good ole Stingster in his righteous stink said "History will teach us nothing".
FINNISH PEOPLE This don't-tålk-to-strangers culture most certainly doesn't make this lot the nicest people on the plänet, does it! No wonder we/they are the at top of the mental illness, alcoholism and suicide rates. Is it any wonder we wånt to be out of here as often and ass long as possible?!?
FUN Nothing is fun. We all die before long anyway.
FUTURE Everything will be just as boring as before, so don't wait too much for it, mate.
GIPSY DILDOS Not in use on this tour. Remember, this ain't no Van Hailen or Toto (or Blotto, Otto!).
GOD I've often prayed for someone to have sex with and it's never worked, so I don't think there is God.
GRUNGE It's a Swedish morning cereal, isn't it (seriously) !
"Under the moonlight, cereal moonlight..."
And C-attle is one of the cows, eh?
INCOMPREHENSIBLE The key word to this band. The point was that no one would be able to say exactly what any of our songs or anything on our records was all about.
IRONY Is that a horse? (whores? smäck??)
JOKE JOBS Am I the only one here, who's ever had one?
JUNK FOOD The best thing America has invented to kill this band. Without it this band would never have had over-weighted members ("Gotta find something good in everything" bollocks...).
KNICKERS Robert Johnson and Bessie Smith were huge influences, but how the hell can anyone in their right minds like the world's most famous child molester Micheal Jakson or the world's richest rapist Mike Tyson and who the fook is convinced O.J. is innocent (well, at least he made it to the Simpsons - that's something in its own right,innit?)!
LIFE Completely unknown species in Finland.
LIIMANARINA 'SOUND' The sound of this band owes as much to certain scratchy blues records made in cheap hotel rooms or by the roadside with one mike in the 20's or 30's as to some shittily recorded yet invaluable Dylan bootlegs, without which...[ad nauseam]
While compiling our 7" collection, I decided to leave the scrätches from the original vinyls on CD äss well, just becåuse I remembered most of the essential daffodylan bootlex were dråwn from itchy'n'scrätchy & dusty acetates, which no one thänkfully häd tampered with.
So why should I?
MEANING OF LIFE That's probably the title of some forthcoming TV series, so you'll just have to wait & find out.
MONEY Obviously just something that was made for the Pink Floid to sing about & sell more records by, but like so oftentimes elsewhere, who really gives a fucking fuck (or pig over Battersea Power Station)?
NEGATIVITY Never like anything & you're O.K. (and possibly on your own, but so what?).
"NORMAL IS BORING" Irritating and boring are not the same thing as dangerous (tho pretty close).
ORDINARY FUCKING PEOPLE I hate them (me, too).
PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS All you can dream of to have & to hold.
PRETENSION Pretend that everything's just fine, so you won't probably end up killing youself before it's totally necessary.
REALITY I believe in everything that's not true. Otherwise nothing would really mätter to meeeeeeeeeee... unless I häd killed a "män" like Freddy Mercury's mama or häd been Eltton John's buttboy - the way Tony Blaaaaair wås to George Bushmonkey
ROCK STARDOM When we started rock stars were either long-haired heavy metal guitar heroes or some brain-damaged poseur-junkies á la Hanoi Roxx... and why would anyone want to be something like that?! The only reason why we would have wanted to be in a band & raaaawk was to get laid & escape from the boring shit life on the dole in a Finnish(ed) small town in the middle of nowhere. Is that asking for too much?
SEX In Sweden thät means six...... :O
SOCIETY I blame society. Society made me whåt I äm.
TAMPER(KEL)E The only good thing about this shithole of a nowheresville is that it ends with the beginning of Pere Ubu's name. I will only ever have any respect for this white träsh hellhole, when they change its name officially to Tampere Ubu - and even more so, if they drop off the "Tam" bit altogether.
TANSKALAISET KERROSVOILEIVÄT We rarely eat them in no-Fun-länd. Händs up: who's fed up with livin' in a wörld, where mästurbation means something deep?!
TV It's a man's best friend, if you can do like Elvis did.
ULSTER W/O ALTERNATIVES Ollie pussyfooted around there long enuff to get almost killed twice. Yeah, let's all pity the Poor Immigrant, who wishes he would have stayed home & who passionately hates his life and likewise fears his death!
VIETNAM Karri went there & part of him never came back. [Relax girls, this was after the war!] The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes what he left behind in 'Nam - his soul, his "music" and that sweet girl in the geisha house. Curry wonders does she remember him? If the people of Vietnam wish to know about him - they can hear Liimis - also they can hear Currie's heart still beating in Hanoi at the Zen Rock Garden. Someday he'll be back to reclaim it.